Loosing control


I want to be in control. I guess that’s my genes. It is good not to loose control. But sometimes things go wrong, and you realize that you are no more in control of the situation. I just experienced to loose control in something I was pretty sure I was in control of. I like to plan my future, and to be at ease because I know I have my back covered for most unexpected scenarios. But this time I was ambushed at a place I’d never have expected it. After having robbed me of my control, the robbers left me back there in the wilderness with a great deal of fear. And that was the time for me to do what most boys do when they are scared or hurt by something. They run to their strong dad, who is never more than a couple of steps behind, and cry out for help. Maybe a Frisbee was thrown into one of the many fragile windows in the neighborhood, crushing it into a thousand parts, leaving a child scared to death behind; what to do now? I am tempted to believe that if the dad wasn’t present at the moment of incidence, the child would first run to hide somewhere and make up a story of what had happened. For how could he go back to his dad and tell him that he had done exactly what he was told not to do; throwing his brand new Frisbee around in the fancy neighborhood? It was damned to go wrong. But he wouldn’t listen. Eventually the child would be found in his hiding place, or maybe he would  walk home because he had no peace at heart, and cry out in the embrace of his loving and caring mum. The burden would be to great for him to bear alone. He had lost his control and couldn’t do anything about it. That is a little bit like I felt recently. I through my Frisbee believing I could control the direction it would go. But somehow God didn’t hinder me from cracking a window in the neighborhood with it. Frightened to death I just HAD to go to God and beg him for help. I was left with no other choice but to go to him and ask him to take control. I think I hid in my hiding place for a little while, but eventually I went home, and let the burden over on God. It was to heavy for a small little child to bear alone. And when I laid everything open before the face of God, he told me that he would deal with it. As I saw him go over to the neighbor, I realized that he was in full control of the situation, and I felt my heart and soul calm down and rest at peace.

Maybe I loose control a little to seldom, because it occurred so strange to me that loosing control over ones life into the mighty hands of God is so peaceful. I don’t have to try and get my little child’s brain around how to sort out this and that big issues in my own little life. But rather; as I lay down my own little life-my own ambitions and my own dreams-I am being raised up into a new life for God, of which he is in full control. And that certainly did give peace. I don’t know whether I will ever have my brand new Frisbee back as my dad returns from having sorted things out with our angry neighbor. But I have peace, because I know I can rest in Gods controlling my life. My life lived for him. Or even better; his life lived through me.

“I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So the life I now live in the body, I live because of the faithfulness of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

(Gal 2:20 NET)

Let us just give up our own stressful Lilliputian  lives, as we abdicate the thrown to God. Whether my life will continue with or without that Frisbee, I know that he is in control, and gives me whatever is best for his kingdoms cause, and thus for me.

Published by PenOfBen

A seeker of truth.

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